Haggard: "Oh hi, Gail, it's Ted."
Gail: "What the hell is this I hear about you and Rod shacked up on the Keys????"
Haggard: "I'm really, really sorry, honey. I slip up now and then, you know that.
We're all sinners, I guess, huh? Anyhoo, I'm real sorry but I'll be home tomorrow,
kay? And can ya pick up some of that nice spiral ham I like for sandwiches? I got
a hankerin' for some good ole deli meat -- "
Blagojevich grabs the phone away from Haggard: "Gail? You there?
Gail (sobbing): "Why, Rod, why????"
Blagojevich: "Because sometimes a man feels bad, bad enough to fall
into the strong, loving arms of a closeted, fallen evangelist with a book
deal. Look, Gail, I need him. I want him. It feels so real -- "
Haggard grabs the phone from Blagojevich. "Shut up, Rod. Gail, are
you there? Gail???"
Click.
Haggard turns to Blagojevich and pulls him close. "Oh get over here you
lying, hunky, senate-seat-selling piece of airbrushed ass!"
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